My MS
by Ian Heydon

A woman had been having a wild and torrid affair with her dentist for six months. After one steamy session the dentist said, “We’re going to have to end this soon, darling. Your husband is bound to find out.” She said, “Don’t worry, he doesn’t suspect a thing.” And he said, “But you’re down to one [...]

E-chatting with artist, Eli, the other day and mentioned I painted as a hobby. She asked to see some. I’m shy, but here are a few. While there are a couple of watercolours, I like to mostly paint with acrylics, using a palette knife rather than all brush. The style is semi-abstract coz we have [...]

And still on tattoos – those krazy Kiwis! This lass has put her bum up for auction – the winning bid gets the tattoo of their choice on her posterior (and a framed photo souvenir). At last peak the bid was up to $12,000 and the date inked in her diary is February 4. Gosh [...]

All things Michigan seem to take my eye at the moment. I read that Reverend Steve Bentley, from The Bridge Church in Flint MI, was fed up with preaching to empty pews. Because the Rev sports a couple of tatts he thought, why not open a tattoo parlour inside the church to attract people who normally [...]

Thanks for this link, Chez. It is a bit of fun where you can create your own newspaper and story. This particular snippet is because we are currently having a wee Writers’ Workshop at Kurmudgeon’s Korner. Here’s a link if you want to make your own story. And who was Albert Simpson.  Well, that’s up [...]

Very occasionally you see a fantastic moment of sporting brilliance. This week’s century in a session by David Warner, bringing up his ton with a six, reminded me of Doug Walters’ 1974 century at the same ground where he brought up his 100 with a six on the last ball of the day. I remember [...]

Her name is Owl Eyes. She has another name, Brooke Addamo. She’s 20 years old. Three years ago she was chucked off Australian Idol in the early stages. That’s often a good career move. Ask Lisa Mitchell and Jessica Mauboy. Methinks Brooke’s time is nigh and she will be a far bigger star than some guy [...]

The Indian government isn’t keen on some drawings, especially the online cartoons of Savita Bhabhi. This comic porn (and I think ‘comic’ has two meanings here) is seeing summons served on the companies that serve up the porn, including Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Yahoo and YouTube. I hope I don’t get into twouble! But, if I do, I have lots [...]

Non-Aussies probably won’t follow this at all, but after eight years of promoting lamb for Australia Day, Sam’s still as fresh as a new-born ewe. This year he teams up with the Justice Crew flock and Melissa Tkauz for a remake of the 90’s classic ‘Barbie Girl’. It is 20 years since Melissa had a [...]

Yes, it is official. This week scientists discovered a new type of Yeti crab off the coast of Antarctica and were searching for a name, when someone suggested ‘Hasselhoff’ because the crab has an unusually hairy chest. The crab lives 2500m below sea level and does not eat burgers or drink beer. Other celebs to have [...]