From Dave…

Posted on: Monday, Mar 5, 2012

Three bad things happened to me yesterday:

I found out my friend slept with my girlfriend.

My friend got hit by a bus.

I lost my bus driver’s licence.

Say it’s your birthday…

Posted on: Sunday, Mar 4, 2012

Rip their bloody arms off!

Posted on: Sunday, Mar 4, 2012

Meet Geoff Stephens – an embarrassment to himself, his family and his country. Geoff migrated to England 26 years ago, got a job as a council worker and is now suing the council because his fellow workers made jokes about him being an Australian! Fair suck of the sav Geoffie – if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the bloody kitchen. He’s all stressed because they greet him with racist comments like “G’day sport” and ask him if his girlfriend’s name is sheila. Struth, for 200 years Pom and Aussie bashing has been a sport! Drop ‘em like a school case, flash ‘em a brown eye mate, make jokes about their dental health, personal hygiene and the weather. What do you call an English cricketer with 100 next to his name? A bowler!! What do you call an English batsman who does score a century? A South African! Get into ‘em son!!! Sheesh…

A bit on the side…?

Posted on: Saturday, Mar 3, 2012

Peter FitzSimons pointed SMH readers at a book taking the UK by storm called Sexually, I’m More of a Switzerland (by David Rose) – it is a quote collection from personal ads. Here’s one: ”Tall, handsome, well-built, articulate, intelligent, sensitive, yet often grossly inaccurate man, 21. Cynics (and some cheap Brentwood psychiatrists) may say ‘pathological liar’ but I like to use ‘creative with reality’. Join me in my 36-bedroomed mansion on my Gloucestershire estate, set in 400 acres of wild-stag populated woodland.”

Mardi Gras

Posted on: Saturday, Mar 3, 2012

Delightful Kylie Minogue was the focal point at last night’s Mardi Gras in Sydney – the Kylie tribute float became the biggest in the festival’s history with 127 participants. Kylie was there to mingle and graciously receive flowers.

Huge cheers for the sex workers who work for Touching Base, looking after disabled clients – they pushed a group of men and women in wheelchairs. One man’s sign read, “I need love too”.

And the tennis players? Well, they are giving a serve to former tennis great, Pastor Margaret Court who wants to return to Biblical values with same sex relationships. Leviticus 18:22 specifically, where the Lord lays down the laws to Moses. Leviticus also tells us that the lame, blind, those with eye or skin diseases or flat noses are banned from communion and Leviticus 11:9-12 states that, “whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination to you…” A big round of applause from me on this one. Have you seen the price of lobsters and other crustacea lately?! And oyster mongers are charging up to $4 a bi-valve! Now that’s what I call a sin!!!

(Photos Janie Barrett, SMH)

Aelan Taem (Island Time)…

Posted on: Saturday, Mar 3, 2012

A few years ago we sponsored the release of a tagged turtle and Annie and the kids released it back into the wild on Moso Island in Vanuatu.  They are rescued from the beaches as hatchlings and kept for at least 12 months in the turtle sanctuary to give them a better shot at survival.  Our turtle’s name is ‘Kava Minicuds’.  Mini after Minnie our cat, Cuds after Cuddles our dog and Kava because it also comes in shells.  Don’t know why but this morning I was wondering what he’s up to these days…

If you are in Vanuatu, you can release a turtle with naming rights and a certificate for 5000 vatu ($55) as part of a Coongoola cruise outing. 

Friday Randoms

Posted on: Friday, Mar 2, 2012

Hmm… might get a few printed… got some meetings coming up…

Ohhh don’t knock the lad…

It looks like a headless person attending to someone else’s hair… weird…

Courting advice for son at university…

Would this be called ‘ballart’…?

Here kitty, kitty…

Posted on: Friday, Mar 2, 2012

Seriously, there is a cat in this photo – thanks Rach… for some reason, my eye went straight to it. No tricks, no laughs, just a cat… (hint, nine o’clock)

Drugs R bad… Wayyyyyy bad…

Posted on: Thursday, Mar 1, 2012

So, Florida swimsuit model, Sara Barnes, is in a party mood and breaks out the old crystal meth… but she can’t see it too well coz it is just before dawn, so she nips inside the hollow of 3500 year old Cyprus tree and strikes up a light… and burns down the world’s oldest tree. She had the presence of mind to capture the disappearance of this national landmark on her phone (“Wow… Heavy, dude… Bummer…”) instead of using it to call firefighters. Displaying a fine sense of history she commented, “I can’t believe I burned down a tree older than Jesus…”  Sara is currently on bail and according to the rings around her body, is aged 26, which is only about 1200 in Cyprus tree years.

MS Connectivity

Posted on: Wednesday, Feb 29, 2012

How lonely must it have been to have MS 20 years ago, before the internet. The last five comments on this widdle website came from Geelong, Michigan, Auckland, Gosford and New Orleans and the photo came from Roz, my MS friend in Greece. That’s a sunrise over Turkey from her balcony on the island of Lesbos. Without leaving home we MSers can communicate with like-minded folk without a thought to geographical boundaries or physical limitations. It’s quite lovely.

And, in a couple of weeks, I’ll be in Sydney, coincidentally at the same time as fellow MSers Willy (from Switzerland) and Chez (Mt Gambier), so our paths will converge in real life. Willy and Brigitte are pointing the campervan at Sydney from WA and this morning Willy emailed some photos of koalas – you probably don’t get many photo opportunities like that in Switzerland.

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