My MS
by Ian Heydon

It’s not so much the actual photo as imagining what happens when he finally stirs. It’s almost creating radio – ‘theatre of the mind’… pretty to watch in my head!

Fellow MSer Beth from Maine in the US found this… Thanks, Beth, very handy. It sure sorted my stress levels out!  It is a very quick test to determine your stress level. Read the following description completely before looking at the picture.

The picture below was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary’s Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences between the two dolphins. The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.

Look at the photograph, and if you find more than one or two differences, you may want to take a vacation or at least get a massage.

Hmm… Dolphins??? I got two cows.

I really must take Mr Subconscious outside and give him an upslap.  Last night he hijacked a perfectly normal night’s sleep to debate whether or not Fred Flintstone was gay… the seed probably planted by the last line of the theme song, “… and we’ll have a gay old time!”  It was written over 50 years ago!  Being ‘gay’ hadn’t been invented yet!  Get over it!  Yes, he had a pet pink dinosaur… Yes, he wore a knee-length animal skin frock with a blue tie… Yes, he was active in the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes (and they could have some weird stuff going on behind closed doors), but you know what…? I don’t care if Fred was gay or not! I’m just peeved that I had to get up at 4:00am because the theme was on a loop in my head.   Willllllllmaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Thanks again to Willy for this one.  The writing is in German and says, ‘Interior Design for Guys’… Those crazy Germans – don’t they know that a remote control has to be part of the package!

Willy, my MSer mate from Switzerland is a similar vintage to me and we certainly agree that they are obvious signs that we are starting to get old. Tsk! Silly girl…  And I know that Kev would also concur!!

I invite you to enjoy 45 seconds of wonder. (Thanks Kev)  Normal movie speed is 24 frames per second.  Here is an Eagle Owl coming at the camera at 1000 frames per second.  Beautiful.

For 75 years the Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School has been THE finishing school for department store Santas in the United Sates. 115 Santas will graduate this year and start strutting their stuff in a couple of days.

In cheerier economic times the main things to learn were how to give a hearty ‘ho, ho, ho’ from below the diaphragm, how to trim and curl the beard ‘just so’ and how to have pleasant breath. This year they have been given a crash course in Tough Times 101 – e.g. what to say when a kiddie says, “Can you bring my Daddie a job?”… or “Can you get me a pair of sneakers that fit?”… and if an I-pod is requested, to say something like, “This year I can’t make any promises, coz even Santa has had to cut back a bit, but I know that whatever you get, you’ll have a great time!”

The Gold Coast will be hosting the 2018 Commonwealth Games and no one worked harder at wooing the voters than Premier Anna Bligh.  She was simply amazing promoting the Gold Coast as a ‘fun’ venue for the Games. She partied hard, hitting the dance floor and doing a heap of things you wouldn’t expect from a normally restrained politician.  Here she is with a couple of meter maids.

How time flies!  Did you know that it is 46 years since the lasses in gold bikinis first started feeding expired parking meters to promote tourism. Sure it looks a bit strange and politically incorrect these days but I love it – it so much a part of Coast ‘culture’. The bottom pic is a lady called Veronica Cherry, one of the original Surfer’s Paradise meter maids… and she is still looking damn fine at 67!

A Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a maths test. Here is your first question, the foreman said.  “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.”  ”Without numbers?”  The Irishman says? “Dat is easy.” And proceeds to draw three trees. “What’s this?” the boss asks. “Have you ain’t got no brain?  Tree and tree plus tree makes 9″ says the Irishman.  “Fair enough,” says the boss.  “Here’s your second question.  Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.” The Irishman thinks a bit, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree… “Ere you go.”

The boss scratches his head and says, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?” “Each of da trees is dirty now.  So, it’s dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree.  Dat makes 99.”  The boss is getting worried that he’s going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says, “All right, last question.  Same rules again, but represent the number 100.”  The Irishman thinks some more, then picks up the picture and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, “Ere you go.  100.”

The boss looks at the attempt.  “How the hell does that represent 100?!”

The Irishman points to the marks at the base of each tree, “A little dog come along and pooped next to each tree.  So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes 100!”  The Irishman is now head of Qantas.

Laura sits the UNSW English exam and mate Mickey changes Laura’s name to Lauria. Laura says, “Doesn’t matter, coz I won’t get anywhere…” Well, a Credit turns up in the name of Lauria Heydon!  Because her parents are so proud, we now insist on a name change by Deed Poll. And with the news below of the wedding, that also means a surname change!  (SIGH)

Here’s to you, Lauria Robinson… Jesus loves you more than you will know (wo, wo, wo)… God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson…Heaven holds a place for those who pray (hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)…