WARNING: THIS SECTION IS RATED NFMC (Not For My Children)

Before we move to the delicate subject of sex, a few other things I have noticed in the bedroom:

• I find that loose fitting summer pyjamas work well – comfortable if you want to throw off the covers, gives a bit of respectability on waking and not too hot
• A low pillow seems to work best
• Apart from a sheet, a light blanket and light doona so it is easy to change the layers if it gets a bit hot (or cold)
• Dreams have become interesting.  I have often popped up as the ‘central character’ in my dreams.  These days the central character has MS (often with a cane or a bit of trouble walking).  I like my subconscious BUT I have a question.  Has the subconscious placed me in dreams because it has made an adjustment to the ‘real’ me – or is it the subconscious imagining that I have MS, the same way it would have me take on the role of, say, a pilot?  Hmm…

So, before we move to the delicate subject of sex…

WARNING: THIS SECTION IS RATED NFMC (Not For My Children)

Now the reason I have that warning is very simple.  While James and Laura are 18 and 14 respectively, no child wants to know about their parents having sex at the best of times.  I remember when we lived in Sydney and we had neighbours, Janice and David.  J & D had married for the second time and shared a house with Janice’s two young daughters.  Early one morning, one of the daughters heard strange noises coming from Mum and David’s bedroom and went to investigate.  She opened the door to see them both naked with Janice on top quickly approaching a screaming orgasm.  The poor girl probably still has nightmares.

There’s a neat segue there actually.  As a male with MS, that’s probably the preferred position.  Of course, in both males and females with MS, people can experience impotence, diminished arousal and simply a lack of interest, and it was a topic I brought up with Dr Jim.  You can probably see from that how important it is to have a GP you get on with.  The conversation went something like this:

JIM:     “How long have you been married?”

IAN:     “Thirty-one years.”

JIM:     “Sometimes that can be the cause of lack of interest.”

IAN:     “I don’t think that’s the case.”

JIM:     “Hmm.  In the old days I would have prescribed a hooker.  That would quickly answer the question.”

IAN:     “If I thought that was the answer I could self-prescribe.  What do you know about Viagra?” 

JIM:     “Quite a bit.  Happy to give you a script but I’ll make it a small one as it’s not cheap.  Chances are it won’t work, but it’s worth a shot.  Hang on a sec and I’ll see if we have some in a sample pack I can give you.”

JIM LEAVES THE ROOM AND RETURNS EMPTY HANDED.

JIM:     It’s funny how some samples disappear faster than others.  Sorry, you’ll have to pay for it .  And can I suggest you have a good chat with your wife first.  If it doesn’t work, you will probably feel inadequate… but worse than that, she could feel inadequate.  It’s a tricky thing.

So, Jim wrote me two scripts – one for a packet of four Viagra and another for a packet of 12 (with six repeats).  Both sensible and optimistic.  I like that in a man!

The discussion with your partner is worthwhile (and can be part of the arousal/excitement).  Here’ a suggestion.  Wait until you have the house to yourselves and invest in a nice massage lotion.  Plan on just giving each other a soothing massage and, if it doesn’t lead to something more vigorous, at least you will have enjoyed the touching and the closeness.

Probably the only downside to using Viagra (apart from the cost) is the embarrassment at the chemist.  Why is it that with such scripts to be filled you always get a female serving you?!  Another tip from Dr Jim – ring around a few pharmacies and ask how much Viagra is – apparently the discount chemists have it at greatly reduced price to others – and choose one that isn’t your regular pharmacy.  You don’t need nodding winks from the same staff that hands you the monthly dose of Avonex.

I guess some of you are curious, so… 

WARNING: THIS SECTION IS RATED NFMC (Not For My Children)

I’m okay with the embarrassment on the next visit to the discount pharmacy.

By the way, my mate Dave told me that he also walked in on his parents indulging in some horizontal leisure when he was aged about six.  He thought they were playing some sort of a game and it looked as though his father was winning.

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